Finding Love................. or is it that Love Found Me??

Nov.29th 2010 left me staggered. Meeting the man i would rely upon and call my future husband was not what i had in mind.

Old Memories and New Memories

old memories from school and my family. and just trying to glean what i can from my past and strive my hardest to learn from my mistakes.

PEACE amidst the CHAOS

God is extremely funny. After all He invented irony and sarcasm.So He can use them when ever He feels like it.and usually he comes at me when i least expect it so, you can imagine my reaction...

Anger thicker than blood

My Anger is Thicker than my blood. 
My heart hurts. why must people hurt me so? 
how could i not see it coming? 
I love people don't get me wrong they intrigue me.
I hate how they betray me and act like children.
but sometimes asking certain people to grow up is like
asking an SS officer to show kindness to Jewish prisoner.
so sorry for the Asstarded analogy here but that's how I see it.
And now i've had ample warning, 
i now know i must proceed with my plan.
I just pray it works.

to sing amidst the muck and mud

to sing your praise oh lord i shall, though i am battered tattered and torn. by the world as it laughs at my plight and am singed by the heat of it's scorn.

tortur'd

oh my love how i regret the pain and strife i've rent.
my heart it died within my chest to see you hurt at my expense.
my soul it weeps acid burning my blood.
my tears the fall down in a flood.
i dare not seek thee out or speak anon.
for to cause you pain again.
my voice shall not be raised
in song or laughter or speech.
to see the at all to morrow my heart will quail
i have done you great disservice as a friend i fail.
i a hot temper'd fool shall no longer see thee again.
Distance shall be a common ground for us now.
I'll love thee for'er be now at peace.
how dare i love thee if i am too blame for my foolishness and thy pain.
I seek forgiveness but give it not.
for hell bound i am to rot.
you cannot save me for i'm eternally damn'd.
Though still i'm a lost wounded lamb.
I prithee ne're see this post, lest i truly die of ultimate pain.
rejection from you would dispatch me straight.
quicker than bella donna.
thicker than hate.
i would die knowing my love for you was pure.
and being without you is pure torture.

Solider of War

Though I look frail,weak and innocent. There's something lurking beneath the surface. Someone once said the eyes of a person are like a window to their soul. if you look into mine at first glance what will you see? perhaps you'll see; joy, mischievousness, and sweetness. but if you truly took the time to dig deeper, you'll find a wisdom as old as time itself, sorrow hidden by deep pain of a past a dark as the holocaust. I am a solider of War. though i do not fight against flesh and blood, i fight with the spirit world. I must help my comrades stay strong, for if one of us were to falter,we would come to their aid.